Getting Real: Love and Romance After Baby

A collection of colorful breastfeeding themed cartoons

Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs—sometimes by the day, the hour, the minute!—but there’s nothing like a baby to test a couple’s bond. What happens to love and romance when a new baby joins the mix? Here’s what nearly 400 moms (all of whom had a baby in the last 18 months) told us.

Today’s parents are true partners

In an ideal world, all relationships are partnerships. But in the face of laundry piles, stacks of bills, and dirty diapers, sometimes it’s easy to lose track of that goal. But not so for these new moms! The majority of respondents reported a strong sense of co-parenting and teamwork with 45 percent reporting that they were “in it to win it.” Another 26 percent described their current relationship as in “survival mode.” For 17 percent of moms, their partner is their number one person, while a scant 12 percent admitted that everything their partner did was irritating. But all relationships ebb and flow! What’s irritating today might be endearing tomorrow. And vice versa.

Chart that gives results of how moms describe their relationsips

Moms want more quality time with their partner

When asked what would make the biggest difference in their relationship, a whopping 40 percent of respondents said having more quality time with their partner—almost three times any other answer. Perhaps more time together would also result in kinder interactions and more physical intimacy—both of which 16 percent moms said they desired. For 17 percent of moms having additional resources, like time and community support, would help. And 16 percent of moms reported that more equitable division of household and parenting tasks would be the biggest help.

Chart giving results of what parents say their relationship would benefit the most from

Post-baby relationships are (mostly) better

Channeling a yogic perspective, nothing ever stays the same, so it’s no surprise that the majority of respondents said that having a baby changed their relationship. Twenty six percent of moms felt their relationship had changed for the better after having a baby, while 53 percent of moms said the changes included both positive and negative changes. Fifteen percent of moms reported that their relationship had stayed the same and just five percent felt that their relationship was worse off. Bottom line? Having a baby just adds more to your life: more chaos, more stress, and more joy.

pie chart showing how relationships change post baby

More than half of moms are having (some) sex

We’ve previously reported that new moms are having sex, but how often? Of the slightly more than half of respondents who said they were having sex (53 percent), half are getting it monthly; the other half, weekly. It’s worth noting that six percent of moms suggest that they’re definitely having sex more often than that. (We want to know their secret!) Twenty-two percent of moms want to be having sex, but aren’t. Seventeen percent aren’t at all, and are just fine with that.

pie chart showing how sex life changes post baby

Today’s moms are not material girls

Maybe every generation of moms wants and needs different things. In earlier generations, moms wanted more help with childcare or help around the house. But moms today want more recognition and words of affirmation from their partners. Think words, not gifts! Note to all partners out there: Put away your wallet and use your words!

pie chart showing what parents want partners to do more

A note about our moms

All of our survey respondents had a baby within the last 18 months
80 percent were between the ages of 25-35
76 percent of respondents work and 28 percent were still on maternity leave
60 percent of respondents have been with their partner for seven years or longer

Mamava designs solutions to empower breastfeeding and pumping parents on the go, like our freestanding lactation pods, Mamava’s lactation space locator app, and other helpful resources.

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