Are Breastfeeding Moms Having Sex? Survey Says… Yes. And No.
In an effort to drop the cover on the realities of new-mama life, we conducted an online survey of 750 women who are currently breastfeeding or who have weaned in the last 12 months. Here’s what we learned.
Half of breastfeeding mothers are having sex.
Fifty-three percent of our respondents said they are having sex. The majority of surveyed moms (60%) waited between six weeks and three months to have sex after having their baby.
While 16 percent of mamas waited between three to six months to have sex, 7 percent waited more than a year. Of the mamas who are having sex, only half describe their current sex life as “hot.”
Of the 47 percent of moms who aren’t having sex, 30 percent report that they’re not in the mood, 13 percent are afraid it will be painful, and 10 percent are just too damn tired.
#MomGuilt includes #SexGuilt.
New moms are navigating big changes—to their body, their relationship, their life—so taking a sex break may not be surprising. But 24 percent of moms surveyed said they feel guilty about not having sex. They’re also concerned about their postpartum loss of libido and wondering how to get their groove back.
Lube is a helpful addition.
We asked breastfeeding women what (if anything) they added to their sex life post-baby. Forty-three percent of moms having sex said they added lubricant—which makes sense to us (birth! breastfeeding hormones!). To protect against pregnancy, 26 percent of breastfeeding moms report adding condoms (a non-hormonal contraception). And 33 percent of moms say they’ve added more laughter. Because once you’ve pushed a baby out into the world, having a sense of humor about bodily functions is key.
Feeling “touched-out” is a thing.
Breastfeeding moms often feel like ‘baby kitchens,” so it’s not surprising that 40 percent of them report feeling “touched-out” and not into nipple play during sex. Forty-seven percent of moms report experiencing milk leakage—or squirting!—during sex, and many told us they keep their nursing bras on while getting it on.
Moms want to know they’re okay.
Moms, like everyone else, want to know that what they’re experiencing is normal and that they’re not alone. Too often, conversations about women’s health—and pleasure—are relegated to the territory of wine nights with girlfriends or private Facebook groups. But our survey suggests that it’s time to bring these issues out of the bedroom and talk about them. Because the more we understand the realities of postpartum breastfeeding women, the more we can improve the overall wellbeing for moms, their partners, and their families.